Eight Tips of Buddhism To Deal With Grief.VIETNAMESE TRANSLATE ENGLISH BY=THICH CHAN TANH.AUSTRALIA,SYDNEY.

We are living in an age with the advice that we should express our anger, but Buddha does not agree with this. Acting with anger will make it easier to repeat this in the future, creating an endless cycle. The Buddha advised us not to suppress emotions and not to express them massively, but to analyze them and understand how to deliberately think behind the anger.

 

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Buddhists can talk a lot about compassion and tolerance, but even great masters like the Dalai Lama admit that sometimes he gets angry, people like us have some hope? Science can say that being angry is perfectly normal, psychologists recommend that we show anger, and even some religions think that anger is the right thing. On the other hand, Buddhism thinks that anger is always not good.

Shantideva (Shantideva) in the 8th century described the center of mind as the most extreme negative force, capable of destroying the virtues and virtues that we have worked hard on. Think about it, a moment of anger plus a gun can completely change the future of a person who has a free life into a prison life. A closer example to how everyday life is than the pitch center can destroy friendship and trust, which are things that take decades to create. In the end, the pitch was more dangerous than all the bombs, knives and guns combined all over the world.

We know anger is not a happy mood, but what can I do? Buddhism offers a number of simple methods to help us transform our minds, but please notice that there is no medicinal spirit! These are the eight great Buddha's advice, to deal with the pitch:

1. The Life Is So: Lives

The first sermon of the Buddha 2500 years ago went straight to the point: the life is unsatisfactory. What do you think? Our life will  never  be the same.

We are born, then die. During the time between these two events there will be happy times, sad times, and times when we have absolutely no feeling at all: this endless cycle is what the Buddha calls "reincarnation." When entering this world, no one will say that life will be beautiful, pleasant and an endless source of joy, that things will always happen according to their wishes. When we understand our plight in samsara, we will understand the situation of everyone.

We all have the same plight. Being angry with the situation, with other people or with yourself doesn't improve anything. People say and do things that they may not like, because their lives are also bad, that's right.

Such a way of thinking can transform your look thoroughly. Although each one of us seems to be the center of our universe, it does not mean that everything has to, or will always happen, in its own right.

2. Let's Be a Hero: The Ring

The negativity will be most effectively suppressed by countervailing with it; because it is not possible to use fire to put out the fire. Why? Because my mind cannot embrace two opposing emotions at the same time. You cannot scold someone and be patient with the person at the same time, there is no way to do so. Many people see patience as a sign of weakness, when you let others trample on you and get whatever they want. However, this is in fact different. When we get upset, how easy is it to scream, and how difficult is it to keep calm and control our emotions? Listening to my feelings and following his lead will not make me a hero, but only weak. So the next time, when you are about to make a scream, swing your sword patiently and cut off your anger.

How? We can try to breathe deeply, it is direct antagonism with short breaths and gasps when angry, if we see the spirit begin to stress. We can count to 100 slowly, to stop saying the words I will regret later. Or if you have to face someone directly, you can leave the scene, before everything goes down. Each situation is different, so you need to use your mind, to see which way works best for you.

3. Be Realistic: Situation Analysis

When angry, the rage seems to appear as a guardian, as a close friend takes care of his interests, helping him fight in the battlefield. This illusion will allow me to think that anger is reasonable, but if you think carefully, anger is not your friend, but an enemy.

Anger causes us mental stress, suffering, unhealthy eating and restless sleep. If you continue to be angry with someone, this will make others have a lasting impression of you. Let's face this: who wants to be near an angry person?

When accused of something and feel the self-defense button starts to tighten in the stomach, you should stop and think logically. There are only two choices: one is the accusation that is true, the other is false. If it is true, why am I angry? If you want to be an adult, you should take the error, learn from this mistake and continue to walk in life. If it's wrong, why are I angry? People have made mistakes, so have I never made a mistake?

4. Mind Mind: Meditation

Meditation and mindfulness can be extremely beneficial to opposing the mind. Many people can see meditation as a waste of time, why take 20 minutes to sit on a pillow, while I can use the time most effectively, right? Others think that meditation is a good way to avoid real life, when you can take the time to alienate your children / email / husband / wife.

/ But meditation has more meaning than that, it is a  preparation  for real life. If I meditate on compassion every morning, but when I get into the department, I yell at the staff and complain about my colleagues, so it's no good.

Meditation helps the mind become familiar with positive thoughts such as patience, compassion, and that is something that can be practiced anywhere, anytime. If you spend half an hour on your way to school or work in the morning to listen to the music you love, at least we can spend 10 minutes during that time to give words to everyone. It is an effective way to reduce anger, and help us become someone everyone wants to be close to.

5. Lower yourself: Learn from the Enemy

Dharma often teaches us to do things  contrary to what we usually do. When I'm angry with anyone, I want to take revenge. What is the result of that? I still suffer the same as before, if I don't say it's more miserable before revenge. While it may seem counterintuitive, if we act in the opposite direction, we will have the opposite result: it is the path to happiness.

This idea may sound crazy, but try to think about how to see an object that you are as angry as your teacher. If you want to be a better person, that means more patient, more loving, kinder and more cheerful, then you need to practice. Everyone knows that if you want to be an international football player or a violinist of international stature, it takes a lot of effort and time, so how is training different from this? If the people around you always agree or do as they please, we will never have any challenge.

As a result, the person we hate will become extremely precious, because they give us the opportunity to truly practice patience. This will immediately stop the wave of anger that is rising, as it will change its look from what they have behaved badly to themselves, into what they help themselves.

6. Remembering Death: Impermanence

Then you will die. I will also die. We will all die. So when the person you can't stand to do something makes you angry, stop and think: "When I was in bed dying, did I care about this?". Perhaps the answer will be "no" unless we know that person is really insidious, wants to take over the world and destroy it. This little advice is extremely simple, but it can reduce many of the minor troubles in the world.

Everyone knows that I will die, but it is not something that we  truly understand . Death is an abstract, distant concept that happens to other people, for the sick, the elderly, and bizarre accidents. However, that is not a reality. Every day, young people still die before the elderly, and healthy people die before the sick

When focusing on death will certainly happen in the future (maybe tomorrow, within a year, or 50 years?) Then many things that often make people mad will become insignificant. It is not that they do not upset us, but we will realize that there is no need to waste our precious time, energy or energy because of what these things do.

7. Artifact What: Karma

People often say: "What kind of karma do I create," or, "That is his karma, he deserves to take what is happening to him", this implies that people sowing the wind will reap the storm. This is not really an understanding of karma in the Buddha, because it is much more complex and sophisticated. However, when people gloat to say that the suffering of others is their karma, most people hesitate to acknowledge when they themselves are in awkward situations, this also happens because of their karma.

All that I experienced, from the endless moments of joy to the depths of despair, was born from predestined relationships. These conditions do not suddenly fall down from the air, to the body, but by themselves. So instead of getting angry when you encounter a tragic plight, you should stop and think: "Where does this come from?" Do I want to make it worse? ”.

Karma is a way of acting impulsively, responding to the habit we always have. If you understand how your career works, you will find you have the ability to change future experiences, based on what you are doing in the present, and here, it means practicing your patience when your mind The yard arises.

8. It Is Not True: Emptiness

Although the patience of the patience can be a direct conflict with the center of the mind, but the emptiness is the most powerful antagonist, not only for anger, but also for all difficulties and problems. In fact, no matter how patient you are, if you have not fully understood the emptiness, or the Prime Minister, the difficulty will continue to fall on your body like rain during the rainy season in India.

If you spend a little time analyzing your mind when you're angry, you'll notice one thing: it's a feeling of "me", or "me". “ I was  very angry because of what  you  told  me . I could not believe what  he  did to you  my ! Surely  I am right on this issue and make sure that  she is wrong! "I, me, me.

When you get angry, you will have a great opportunity to analyze the "I" that appears very firmly. It does not exist! We do not say that we do not exist, or that there is nothing important, but when we try to find this "me", is it in my mind, in my body, or in my body and mind, Is there a way for me to say, "Yes, it's here!".

For many people this is difficult to understand, but the reality is that when it comes to analyzing reality, it will change its look thoroughly. We will see that from the beginning, there is not anything that I can determine to be angry with it.

Summary

No matter how many times I repeated it, "I will not get angry", but if I don't try, I will never get the peace I want.

The points mentioned above are not just a good list, but are really tools we can use to get rid of frustration, anger and sadness. If we practice, anyone of us can do this. END=NAM MO SAKYAMUNI BUDDHA.( 3 TIMES ).VIETNAMESE BUDDHIST NUN=THICH CHAN TANH.GOLDEN AMITABHA MONASTERY=AUSTRALIA,SYDNEY.26/2/2019.