Chapter 2

GRACIOUSLY

11. Eligibility

My daddy drove his car to London on the outskirts of London. When running on a small street in a poor street, he turned to say, "Son! Whatever you do, you must know your child. Three doors at three are open to me at all times. "

Then I was 13 I did not understand the meaning of his words, but I know your important words to remember today. Then my father died three years later.

When I was teaching in Northeastern Thailand, I suddenly thought about my father's words. I remember when my dad said this, my house was just a street in the city apartment, not the wide house but the wide door. So, Daddy, I want to say, "My son! Whatever you do, you must know your child. Particularly, the mind is always wide open for me. "A saying that meaning precious as a jade and velvety as velvet wrapped in jade. A sentence that changed my life.

My father gave me an unconditional love, a nonprofit. You only know I'm your son, that's all. Beautiful, realistic and honest.

To speak my father's words - to open the door of his heart to show love without the word "if" is not easy. The speaker must have a lot of courage and understanding. Usually people are afraid that the speaker is wanting something. But for me, no, I have not encountered any profiteers. Whenever you receive such unconditional love, you should cherish and keep your lovers lost. As soon as I did not fully understand the meaning of the sentence I advised, I still do not dare to do anything to him sad. And if you utter words like my dad saying with all sincerity, the listener will go up and not go down to worthy of your love.

12. Extend your mind

Seven centuries ago seven monks were living in a forest in Asia. You contemplate on the unconditional love I have mentioned above. The seven monks included the monk, the monk, the close friend of the monk, the fourth monk, the fifth monk, the sixth sick and could die at any time, history. This monk snores at the moment of meditation, not in the sutras, often without a head and without the body. You not only are not exempted by the six, but also thank you for teaching them the letter.

One day, robbers were robbed to make a pole for the dangerous terrain of the cave. They want to kill monks. The monk used a rhetoric to persuade a robber to kill a monk called to warn who dare to reveal their cave. The teacher was so far away that nobody knew what he meant. You are allowed to think for a moment to decide who is "sacrificed"

At this story I'm usually here to ask who they are, who is the one who must die? The question I made many people snatching themselves, forgetting to sleep. And to help them make my point, I recall that there are monks, monks, good friends, unloved people, an old man who can die and a wimp. Did the audience responded that the opponent was monk. "No," I say. I'm not. Many people think of worthless - people are "evil" or targeted at people they do not like. After a minute of "teasing" my relatives, I said, "You can not pick anyone up!"

The master did not choose anyone to "test" because of his brother, brother, the enemy, the elderly, the sick, the same indifferent. His love is unconditional, his heart open to everyone, no matter who they are, how. More penetrating than to love people like a teacher. His heart was open to him so he did not know whether to choose one or six fellow practitioners.

Then I narrated to our audience that our Lord said, "Love your neighbor as yourself," no less, no less. In other words, looking at someone like looking at you and looking at you like looking at you.

So why do not you volunteer yourself because of your unconditional love for your partner, as many listeners think? Our culture teaches us to sacrifice to others. Ask also ask again. Why do we demand from us, self-reproach and self-punishment? Because we have not learned how to love ourselves. If we find it difficult to say "my mind is wide open for everyone even if they say anything", then the following statement to yourself is even more difficult to say multiplicity, "I am the person whom I am closest to long This is my heart to open and expand. "

It is my love that I want to say: forgiveness, escape from sin prison, make good to yourself. If you have the courage to speak up and speak honestly with your heart, then you will be directed to reach out to noble love. And then one day you will have to say your heart, can not escape. Then you will feel like part of yourself being back from the cold outside after years of being stripped. You will be friends completely, completely free and happy.

And remember, you do not have to be perfect, not guilty to give yourself that noble love. Besides, there is absolutely nothing you can expect. Let us open our hearts no matter what.

Many curious people asked me what had happened to the seven robbers robbed of their vows. The story did not go on, but I figured out what would happen next. After telling the robbers that no one was chosen and explaining the noble affair I described to them, the robbers were very grateful. They not only do not rob, do not kill anyone but get married.

13. Marriage

Since I was a bachelor living celibate life, I married many people because part of my bhikkhu's duty was to preside over marriage. According to my school tradition, lay people hold the ceremony, but many couples are looking at me as a monk who connects them.

There is a sarcastic saying in English, "There are three rings, rings ask, Wedding rings and suffering rings (suffer = pain, ring = ring). Therefore sadness, suffering can not be avoided in conjugal love. Whenever there is a problem, my spouse and I for the past often come to me. As a happy living monk, I would like to talk about the following three times in wedding ceremonies for the purpose of helping the newlyweds and my little troubles as long as good. These are the three stories.

14. Responsibility

I think of weddings like this: when they meet the two parties are only cohesive; After the wedding they must be responsible for each other. The wedding ceremony is meaningful only when the two parties receive their share of responsibility. I differentiate between attitudes attached to responsibility by comparing bacon and eggs. In fact, they are more interested in hearing and paying attention because they want to know how bacon and eggs are related to marriage. I explained: "With eggs, chicken is attached to meat with bacon, pigs are responsible. Call this a pig-pig wedding. "

15. Chicken and duck

This is the story that my Ajahn Chah teacher in northeastern Thailand loves. There are some couples walking in the woods after a nice summer dinner. He and her hand in hand until the sound of "Quác, quác" echoed from far.

"Well, look, there must be a chicken," she snapped.

"No, duck," the guy replied.

"I'm sure the chicken that"

"It can not be. Chicken must be oop. And the new duckling, dear brother, "he slightly raised his voice. The "quack" again.

"It's chicken, honey," she said confidently as she pounded hard on the ground.

"Listen, my wife. That is ... I ... duck. V., Duck sound clear? "He responded angry.

"But ... the chicken" she continued defying.

Obviously the duck, she, she ... "

The words "quack," resounded interrupting the words that he should not say while she whimpered: "But ... is ... the chicken."

Seeing his wife's tears, he remembered why he married her. He softened his voice and said softly,

"I'm sorry my dear. I think you're right, it's the chicken "

"Thank you, my dear," she said, squeezing his hand.

"Quack, Quack" continues to ring the forest as he and she continue to match with the flowering love.

The main point of the story is that the last guy "shines out" and the cry of chickens or ducks is not important. It is important that the harmony between the two so that they can enjoy a poetry tour in a beautiful summer afternoon. In life there are so many families disbanded for nothing! What are the important chickens and ducks that must go to divorce?

Listen to this story and we should distinguish what is important. Marriage is of course more important than chicken or duck. More than that, how many times do we believe - believe in absolute, absolute, consistent that we are right and then find ourselves wrong? Who knows where? There may be genetically modified chickens and crows like duck roar!

(To respect both men and women, I often change positions, but I do not necessarily say that chickens say ducks as in the stories I mentioned above.) That is also a way of ensuring my inner calm, a bhikkhu )

16. Knowing

A few years ago I attended a wedding in Singapore. After the ceremony, I saw his father pull his son-in-law out to have some advice on how to keep the family happy is long lasting. Grandfather:

"You love her daughter so much, right?"

"Right," the boy replied.

"And you think she's the best in the world?"

"She's wonderful in every way, Daddy."

So I married her. But baby, after a while you will start to see the defects of my daughter. Then I advise you to remember this. If my daughter did not have that defect she would have taken another husband than me. "

So we have to be grateful for our spouse's faults because if they are not defective they are not their own.

17. Romantic

During the love period we only see the whole "bricks good" of us. That is all we want to see and of course we just see that. I have negative mind. When we go to the divorce court, we see the whole "backslash" in you. We can not see the compensating virtues of our friends. I do not want to see them so I can not see them. I have negative mind again.

Why does romance come in dimly lit nightclubs, candlelit tables, or midsummer night? Because in those scenes you do not see all of her freckles or his dentures. Under the shimmer of light, my imagination imaginable imagination and see her sitting opposite us as a supermodel or hero as a movie star. We like to imagine and imagine to love. At least we know what we are doing.

The monks do not have that fuzzy virtual romance. They see the truth in clear light. If you dream to do not go to the monastery. The first year I covered the first gold was the year I studied in Northeastern Thailand. One day I followed him in the car with two other Western monks. I sit next to the driver while the three of us sit behind. The teacher suddenly turned down on us, looked at the young American sitting next to me and said a Thai sentence. The other translation:

"You said you were dreaming about a friend in Los Angeles"

Sadi opened his mouth, lower jaw dropped to the floor. You have read his mind very accurately. He smiled and said:

"It is OK. We have a cure. "Then he continued:" Next time to write for her he told her to send him a gift, the most private, so that every time she misses him to look. "

"Teacher, do monks do this?" Sadi asked with surprise.

"Okay," he replied.

Maybe the monk also knows how romantic? But Ajahn Chah said it took several minutes to translate, since the translator laughed and started translating:

"Master said he should ask her to send him a bottle of her feces. And, he opened the bottle every time she missed her "

Ahh It is very private. Are not we supposed to say love all, love without missing something, are not you? Remember this advice should also be reserved for nuns if any one misses his boyfriend.

As I said, as long as you dream of romance, do not miss the monastery.

18. Easy Love

The harm of romance is when the imagination is gone, the frustration will torment you. In romantic love, you do not really love your person but you love what you imagine your lover. In the period of love, that love is just a passion - the "critique" created by the presence we feel, and like all critics, the "critique" will end after a while. . So Ajahn Chah told the American man to ask his friend for a bottle ... (see story above) to eradicate his memory.

Love is love, forgiveness, for others. In the feet of love, we always say, "My mind is always open to you, whatever you wear," and you really believe that. You always want your partner to be happy. Love feet are rare.

Many of us think that special relationships are love feet, not romances. This is an experimental way to make a donation.

Think of a person you love. Imagine her in your mind. Remember when you first met and how great you were with her. Now imagine trying to get a letter saying that she went to another boat with your very close friend.

If you love your feet, you will be happy for her because she's happier with the new one than with you. You will be glad to see that two of your best friends are having fun together now. You will be happy to know they are happy. Is your happiness important in your true love?

Love feet are rare.

One queen looked out the window and saw the Buddha go begging. The king was jealous of her true love for the great teacher. He called her and asked who she loved the most, the king or the monk? As a devout Buddhist but also a true queen, she is very careful in her voice. In order not to fall head first, she honestly replied,

"Great King, there is no one more cordial to my concubine than my own."END=NAM MO SHAKYAMOUNI BUDDHA.( 3 TIMES ).VIETNAMESE TRANSLATE ENGLISH BY=THICH CHAN TANH.THE MIND OF ENLIGHTENMENT.VIETNAMESE BUDDHIST NUN=GOLDEN LOTUS MONASTERY=AUSTRALIA,SYDNEY.18/7/2017.